Gowanus Lounge: Serving Brooklyn

God No: Bumper Badger Thieves on Loose in the Slope

February 20th, 2009 · 9 Comments

We’ve been noticing more and more Bumper Badgers lately, to the point where it seems like every freaking car we see parked in neighborhoods like the Slope has one (because no one will surrender to the reality that their bumper is getting f’d up whether they like it or not). Yet, where there are tons of Bumper Badgers there is also likely to be Bumper Badger theft. And so it is. From Brooklynian:

I went out to my car this morning and noticed my Bumper Badger had been cut off at the straps! Why would someone take it off? Is there some black market for these things?

Well, we don’t know except that people might be trying to make a statement, but there was this response that amused us:

did someone then scratch your bumper? The 15 y/o in me has always wanted to hold a bumper badger up with one hand, while keying their bumper the other. I’m a big fan of beat up ’92 Corollas.

Up next, Bumper Badger anti-theft alarms!

Tags: Park Slope

9 responses so far ↓

  • 1 TUWD // Feb 20, 2009 at 11:52 am

    Good! those are the second stupidest things ever after the fake arm coming out of your trunk. Besides, the one shown above does nothing to protect your precious Altima from getting scratched where it’s most vulnerable- the corners of the bumpers.

  • 2 SUMRI // Feb 20, 2009 at 3:24 pm

    What are you talking about? Without my bumper cover- I don’t know what I’d do. I would be so embarrassed to give someone a ride or drive to a wedding with a scratched up bumper. So I keep mine on 24/7- but I’m sure to take it off on those special occasions. But other than special occasions- the thing stays on.
    Same goes for the clear vinyl on my velour couch.

  • 3 mag // Feb 20, 2009 at 7:01 pm

    Just goes to show you there are a least one million idiots who will foolishly spend their money on junk. Look at QVC!

  • 4 Jack // Sep 5, 2009 at 11:50 pm

    These things follow the same logic of people who cover their furniture in plastic.

  • 5 Jack // Sep 5, 2009 at 11:52 pm

    Oops, did’t see SUMRI’s comment. Oh well, great minds think alike and simple ones seldom differ. . .

  • 6 Mike // Sep 9, 2009 at 9:56 am

    These things are so ugly on a car.. I’ve seen a few around here and I’d never drive on the highway with it flapping and all… it’s a big eyesore!

  • 7 Greg // Sep 16, 2009 at 10:08 pm

    Well like it or not they sell and work! I ship them all over the country. Now, Im not a fan of driving around with the thing flapping behind the car on the Belt Parkway, I think thats a little gay. But when parked, if you care about your car and dont want to spend $400 to repair your bumper then it’s worth it. If you where the victim of some scu**ag who cut yours off and needs a replacement or maybe you want to try one out, let me know and I’ll give you a discount. Thanks, Wholesale Car Covers

  • 8 Leroy // Oct 20, 2009 at 3:14 pm

    Saw my first one today. Are you freaking kidding me? Had to check the website and then saw the quote below.

    “I would be so embarrassed to give someone a ride or drive to a wedding with a scratched up bumper.”???

    Take a pill, it will be okay!

  • 9 Gary // Oct 22, 2009 at 9:20 pm

    Will the scratched bumper will keep the same resell value if you ever decide to sell your car? Will your leasing company charge you extra for the out of the lease vehicles if the bumper is scratched like it gets scratched in the big city? And by the way, QVC doesn’t have it. Keep your car new!!! Use it even though it looks ridiculous.