We have no idea what this is (other than short fiction), but we came across it and we liked it, so here it is:

It all happened on the Queens bound D – m4w (Bay Ridge)

It all happened on the Queens bound D. She was searching for a minimally invasive emotional relationship and he had Jerry Orbach’s eyes. Literally. Jerry was an eye donor when he died and as a result saved two people from blindness. This guy was one of them. The other, well the other doesn’t matter to this story. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start from the very, very beginning.

I guess it all started in Maui. Used to spend the weekends there. Right off La Perouse Bay. And I really got into it. I even had a giant mural of Queen Liliuokalani hanging over my California King. I’d had a late night with some friends and my head was throbbing like a digital clock yet to be set blinks 12:00. I was up until the sun rose talking over macadamia nuts, papaya and a whole case of Taittinger rose champagne and now I had the headache to match. Now my better half was up making coffee and I was trying to make out what record she was blasting in the living room. I was on the second floor and it was muffled but it sounded like Motown and the coffee smelled like home, like Brooklyn. Temptations maybe? I could only really make out the bass and the drums from upstairs. Martha and the Vandellas perhaps? I knew it was something classic. Something iconic. I heard that famous Holland-Dozier-Holland rhythm. Gladys Knight? The Marvelettes?! A-ha! It was The Supremes, “My World Is Empty Without You”! Of course! We both loved this tune. I’d even gone fishing once with a few of the remaining The Funk Brothers up in Woodstock. I knew if baby was playing this song it meant I had to get out of bed and go downstairs to be with her. She had gone to sleep long before I did the night before. I stayed up late smoking R & J Hill’s with the locals. She probably wanted to know what had happened to the case of Taittinger.

Back home I’d instructed our cleaning lady, Vienna, to line the birdcages with whatever newspapers came over the weekend; Financial Times, The Journal, The Times, The Observer, whatever. I liked the idea of our two budgies shitting on the Financial Times while we were in Maui. It just felt right. Vienna was good. She had the keys to everything and her own debit card linked to my account in case of emergencies. We trusted Vienna with our world. So when the phone rang in Maui I knew it was bad. “Honey”, she said in that sugary voice, “Vienna is on the phone. She sounds confused”. I didn’t even know we had a phone in the Maui house. I’d never heard it ring. We had two red Dobermann’s as doorbells and that’s all we really needed.

“Hello, Vienna. What’s up?”, I didn’t give her the Hollywood “this had better be good”, because I knew it was. Vienna would never call otherwise.

And that’s when it all came crashing.

We await the next installment.

Brooklinks is a daily selection of Brooklyn-related information and images:

• Very Limited Results in “Assault” on Brooklyn Drug Trade [NYT]
• Police Car Goes Airborne, Crashes into Coney Light Pole [NYDN]
• How to Get to Brooklyn Flea Today! [Brooklyn Flea]
• Bullets Over Brooklyn [BHB]
• Dumbo Weekly Links [Dumbo NYC]
• The SE Corner of Bed-Stuy [Bed-Stuy Banana]
• Greenpoint’s Mordred Dresses for Spring [New York Shitty]
• Graffiti Tree [Brooklynometry]
• Pervert Brooklyn Priest Kept Creepy Diary [NYDN]
• Professional Blogging as the New Age Sweatshop, Heart Attacks Included [NYT]

Today, we’re ushering out Signs of Spring, due to reasons Spring springing so much that there are no long signs of it, and ushering in Brookspring, the rubric we’ll be using for Brooklyn spring photos going forward. (Click here to bring up some of the posts labeled “Signs of Spring.”) In any case, Signs of Spring are dead until next year. Long live Brookspring!

“Few residents of Park Slope, Brooklyn are probably aware that they share their neighborhood with a firearms company that has operated in the borough for almost a century. The Henry Repeating Arms Co. is garnering some unwelcome attention this week, however, after it was revealed that the company shipped four of its lever-action rifles with live rounds inside. The company produces around 100,000 rifles annually.” Check out their YouTube vid here.–Gothamist & WCBS

Here are some vids of Kanye West performing at the Bruce Ratner Gala at the Brooklyn Museum, along with a couple of other misc. Brooklyn Museum-related vids.

We don’t know how we missed this horrifying tidbit of information on Friday that bears on construction safety, but we did: “Twenty-eight percent of the city’s scaffold and sidewalk sheds failed to meet building code in a month-long inspection sweep of 1,654 sites, officials said today. Of the 459 sites where scaffolds or sidewalk sheds didn’t comply with building code, 44% were unsafe, with problems such as incorrect installation and improper bracing, officials said. Stop work orders were issued to 13% of the inspected sites…”–Sun

We saw our friend on Fifth Avenue in Park Slope waiting outside Luscious Foods. He was a lot less laid back than some, but way more relaxed than others.

This old and somewhat annotated and altered stencil of The Gipper comes from Greenpoint. They have been around for years, but still entertain.

After an unexpectedly beautiful day yesterday, gloom has returned to skies outside the Brooklyn weather observatory. Today’s forecast calls for it to be breezy and colder with rain and drizzle and a high of 48. Tonight will be mostly cloudy with some drizzle and a low of 40. For current conditions in Dumbo, click here. For Park Slope, click here. For Williamsburg, click here.–Accuweather

The word “trust” came up repeatedly in a session between angry Carroll Gardens residents on Thursday night and members of the Clarett Group team developing a new building at 340 Court Street. Residents have been deeply upset about the way early work has been carried out the site and a lack of communication about the project. Local officials, including Council Member Bill de Blasio and Rep. Yvette Clarke, have gotten involved in discussions, and the developer did finally agree to come to what was almost certain to be a grilling in Carroll Gardens. The meeting had many tense moments. (We will note the developer had no obligation to come to such a meeting or to discuss the project as it is taking place under existing zoning and requires no special approvals.) The design produced by Rogers Marvel (which is, unfortunately, only available in the bootleg form of photos taken of the renderings…which manage to give the building a blob-like appearance with blurred detail) was roundly criticized by many residents, particularly for the use of a gray building material and for its height.

One interesting exchange symbolized the relationship between the community and developer. Residents asked Clarett VP Dan Hollander about digging that had gone on on property that doesn’t apparently belong to Clarett.

“It’s not us,” Mr. Hollander responded.

Resident began hooting and asking who might be excavating, if not Clarett. “If there was digging then it was in error,” he said.

A resident pressed the point again and Mr. Hollander showed a flash of anger. “I don’t think this is the forum to talk about” such details, he said. “Mistakes do happen.” Then, Mr. Hollander said, “I don’t like being tarred because of particular concerns that haven’t come to my attention.” Residents have asked the developer back for more discussion and another presentation.

Here’s another adoptable pet of the week from the Brooklyn Animal Rescource Coalition (BARC) shelter in Williamsburg.

Chachi is a male, one-year-old. The bio on his cage at BARC says:

He was surrendered by his owner. He was so distressed he cut himself on his cage and proceeded to scratch the wound until he bled. Fortunately it looks worse than it is. Once Chachi’s in a warm, loving home his cutting behavior should disappear.

Miss Heather, who provide the pics of Chachi observes: “This is an incredibly friendly cat. He is acclimatized to getting a lot of human contact (which is probably why he took so badly to shelter life initially). When I opened up the cage Chachi started hamming it up for the camera. Being young, he is also very playful. I caught him after he took a healthy swipe at the toy hanging at the top of his cage.” Get over to BARC and snag this cutie for yourself while he’s still there. For info on BARC click here.

The Brooklyn Museum Bruce Ratner Gala continues to produce interesting stories. Radar, which always entertains us, but doesn’t often offer up Brooklyn fodder, is doing so in a big way with a story about the wife of a certain Brooklyn Borough President allegedly cornering the market on Murakami swag after the big, controversial event. To wit:

Without a doubt, the person who got the most out of Thursday night’s Takashi Murakami retrospective opening at the Brooklyn Museum of Art was Jamie Snow, the wife of Brooklyn borough president Marty Markowitz. She grabbed eight of the limited-addition Murakami technicolor fiberglass place mats that were being given out as gifts to party-goers—mats that fetched up to $1,000 on eBay after similar events. And she was wasn’t about to give even one of them up…The mats were intended to be taken by seated guests, but after wolfing down dinner, the enterprising Snow, perhaps sensing a business opportunity, rounded up eight of the mats and rushed over to Murakami to have them signed. When party-goers who ended up placemat-less asked her if she would kindly relinquish one, Snow snidely remarked, “You guys really should have acted faster. This is Brooklyn,” and skulked away.

Subsequent attempts to secure a mat from the hoarder, including one made by an elderly, charming Nigerian fellow, were met with the following variety of responses: “No,” “Nope!” “I can’t hear you!” “You snooze you lose, buddy,” “Forget it!” and, in what can only be considered a charming nod to the borough her husband represents, the always effective, “I won’t say anything but I will stick my tongue out at you.” (Naomi Campbell walked away with six of them when the same party was thrown at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Los Angeles.)

When Markowitz himself was asked to intervene—he is, after all, purportedly a politician, and settling minor squabbles is his mandate—he responded like a man who had seen it before: “Just try being married to her.”

A fascinating story and one that we suspect will have “legs” as they say in the business.

A GL reader sent us this image that was submitted to the “Click!” crowd-curated photo exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum. It’s not clear whether it went in pre- or post-Bruce Ratner Gala furor, but it is certainly a statement in its own way and talks about the “changing face” of Brooklyn and “sterile condos, fusions restaurants, hand-bag poodles…” and the “irony of an art institution paying homage to such a changing face.” Click over to our Curbed post to see the full image after the jump there, along with the warning that it’s not a work or kids-looking-over-your shoulder kind of picture.

We featured Domino, who lives at Sean Casey Animal Rescue in Kensington, back in March. The good people at Sean Casey have made a video of him and he still needs a home, so we’re featuring him again.

Here’s his info:

Hi, my name is Domino and I`m a 1 and a half year old Pit Bull Terrier. I`m all ready to be adopted…I`ve been neutered, dewormed, treated with Revolution to prevent fleas, ticks, ear mites and heartworm and I`m up to date with vaccinations. My adoption fee is $75.00 and I’ll get one free vet exam, one free month of pet health insurance and a microchip! I love to play and to go for walks and I’ll keep you company watching TV too 🙂 If you`d like to meet me, email my friends at nyanimalrescue@yahoo.com for an Adoption Application. I can’t wait to meet you!

Clearly, any potential adopter has to decide if a particular creature in need of a home is right for their living situation, needs and their ability to provide the proper level of care and attention. Sean Casey Animal Rescue is located at 155 East 3rd Street in Kensington. They have a lot of different pets in need. Their number is 718.436.5163.

It’s always interesting to remember the heavy-duty industrial past in Williamsburg and the accidents that sometimes came along with it. A reader sent along a link to this 1908 New York Times story about a huge oil tank explosion at N. 13 and Kent that “resembled an earthquake…shaking houses for several blocks around” and “creating terror among the occupants.” This is not to be confused with the 1880 Big Bang. It’s unknown what kind of underground leaks of oil incidents like these at what were then the Astral Oil Works and Standard Oil might have caused.

Brooklinks is a daily selection of Brooklyn-related information and images.

Photos:

• Two Trees in Prospect Park [Blue Jake]
• Cameraman [Atomische]
• Nice or Necessary or Both? [Brit in Brookyn]
• Good Morning Cranberry’s [BHB]
• Cyclone [Texas #4/flickr]
• Stopped at Sunny’s [Atomische]

Not All Photos:

• Atlantic Yards Website Talks Suites, Not Stall [AYR]
• Atlantic Yards Report Digest [No Land Grab]
• Boy Killed By SUV in Sunset Park [NYDN]
• See You at Brooklyn Flea on Sunday [Brownstoner]
• Dumbo Parking Regulations Updated [Dumbo NYC]
• Bed-Stuy Real Estate Picks [Bed-Stuy Blog]
• Sonny’s Fades Away [Lost City]
• Next Installment of Hello Living [Set Speed]
• Local News: Art [Bed-Stuy Banana]
• Ditmas Park CSA [Ditmas Park Blog]

Barge Music Parking Lot

The red lights are on atop Northside Piers and some light can now be seen coming from some condo windows. “Like an older sister trying to ruin her little sister’s first sleepover by hovering over the party, reminding sis that she’s more grown up than you, Northside Piers lorded over the Edge’s sales office opening party Thursday night, showing off the brand-new FAA warning lights she sprouted earlier today.”–INSIJS

[Image for GL courtesy of Deborah Matlack/Matlack Photography]

This is the spring gorgeousness in Owls Head Park in Bay Ridge as captured by frequent GL Photo Contributor, photographer Deborah Matlack. Many more such scenes to come Brooklyn-wide in the next couple of weeks by the look of trees starting to bloom.

We’ve seen toilets put out for disposal on the sidewalk before and they do make for good photos sometimes. However, they also invite people going on the street to sometimes make use of the facilities rather than the sidewalk. In stylish black, no less.–New York Shitty

We have always believed that Greenpoint offers the most comfortable and intact street furniture, and today’s submission from Miss Heather, does nothing to disabuse us of the notion. It comes from Java Street and really looks like the kind of furniture that invites take a load off.

We’re seeing some bright sun early this morning at the Brooklyn Weather Observatory with an early temp of 51. The forecast calls for early shower, which already seem to be past, then clouds and some partial sun. The high will be 61. Tonight is supposed to be mostly cloudy with a low of 43.–Accuweather

Despite all the recent headlines about the Atlantic Yards Stall and the demise of Miss Brooklyn, Frank Gehry says his signature tower is still alive. He lays the news on the Brooklyn Paper, which caught up with him at last night’s controversial Brooklyn Museum Gala. Of Bruce Ratner, Mr. Gehry says “He really does want to build it…But he can’t get the financing. I don’t know why he would tell the papers that, but it is true.” But, he tells Gersh Kuntzman that “Bruce will have a tenant soon — and then he’ll begin construction.” In the meantime, Mr. Gehry is tweaking his tower and says that it will “look better than anyone imagines.”

One of the most exciting Brooklyn events this weekend is the debut of Brooklyn Flea from our friends at Brownstoner. It’s a rain or shine event on Sundays from 10AM-5PM and there will be more than 200 vendors, some of them on a rotating basis. We’re talking new designs from local artists as well as vintage stuff in what will be one of the biggest such undertakings in the entire city. It takes place at Bishop Loughlin HS in Fort Greene, which is on Lafayette Avenue at Vanderbilt. (Some tips on getting there given the subway mess this weekend on their blog.) Brownstoner founder Jonathan Butler explains the entire undertaking in a Q&A over at Gothamist. We wish Brooklyn Flea great success and longevity. Happy shopping!

The development team behind the building at 340 Court Street came to Carroll Gardens last night and faced a fairly hostile and skeptical neighborhood crowd as they explained their plans for a 70-foot tall building that will include 14 townhouses on Union Street and on Sackett Street. Apartments will range from studios to four bedrooms and there will be retail on the Court Street side. The building will get a 421(a) tax abatement, but there will be no affordable housing. Clarett Group’s Daniel Hollander made the developer’s case and Robert Rogers of Rogers Marvel presented the design of the building. Residents grilled the developers on the building’s height and design and expressed concerns about construction safety.

“Our goal is to building something on the scale of the commmunity,” Mr. Hollander said. The building would have two setback of five feet, at 50 and at 60 feet. There will be underground parking for 72 cars and the main entrance to the building will be on Union Street. Glass walled retail space will front the building on Court Street. Mr. Hollander noted that the developer had rejected a tall building on the site, where zoning would have allowed a structure up to 170 feet tall. “Manhattan is used to having height and Brooklyn is not, except for downtown,” Mr. Rogers noted, saying the building was designed “to recognize the vitality of the Court Street retail corridor.”

City Council Member Bill de Blasio called the presentation “a beginning point for discussion” and said the current design was “better than it would have been” without commmunity input. He noted a “very clear consensus in the community for a fifty-foot [height] limit. ” We hope all developers respect it,” he said. He also said he was “very disappointed” in the way early work like asbestos removal had been handled and that it was “not a good start.”

Mr. Hollander, however, seemed to reject any reduction in height of the building. “We’re designing with the existing zoning,” he said. “Many developers felt a big tower would have been the way to go.” He said that “the area had to go to Court Street” in order to make the development feasible. The building setbacks, he said, were designed “so the perception wouldn’t be monolithic. We’re working as hard as we can to minimize the perception of height.”

One resident said the debate was about the building’s “actual” height rather than the perception. Another pressed Mr. Rogers to estimate the total height with mechanical elements on the roof. One shouted “bullshit” in the middle of the height discussion. The mechanical elements would reach up to 85 feet. One resident asked if elevators could be eliminated from the seven-story building in order to eliminate the added height of the mechanical structure, saying that most buildings in the neighborhood are walk ups.

The audience actually booed the color of the building, parts of which are a slate gray. Local blogger and activist Katia Kelly, who blogs as PMFA, told the developer and architect that the building “looks like a mausoleum.” She advised, “brown is the color to go if you want to build in a brownstone neighborhood.”

The developer did pledge to use union labor on the job and said they would have a contact person to deal with safety issues so that residents weren’t left to fend with the 311 system and calls to elected officials. “The level of trust right now is going to be low,” one resident said, noting neighborhood issues with early work on the site. The construction manager for the project said that communication with the neighborhood was voluntary. “There is no requirement to advise anyone,” he said. Many in the crowd booed. “You’ve already lost everyone’s trust and you’re saying what you legally have to do,” a resident said.

Many of the objections focused on the design. Some residents said the planned townhouses were “too plain,” while others said the structure didn’t fit the context of Carroll Gardens. “People come here because of the brownstone,” a resident said. “If they want an edgy place to live they don’t come to Carroll Gardens.”

A lot of people in the audience urged the developer to come back with a rethought design. It was unclear whether they planned another big community forum but Mr. Hollander did say, “there is a lot of iteration and change in renderings” and said “we are hear to listen.” Mr. Rogers, who seemed stoic in the face of some of the blistering critiques of his work said, “We are listening to you.”

Work on the foundation is planned to start in late May or early June, with the project expected to take 18 months.